FaustianFool: On Manly Tears

Now I know what you’re thinking.  ”Oh FaustianFool, I know what Manly Tears are, they happen in fiction all the time.  I mean just the other day I was reading Manly Men Digest -”

This is when I interrupt you, you fucking whore  (Note: If you are a member of “The Ladies” reading this I don’t actually think you’re a whore), because seriously goddamn you never let me get started before flyin’ off into some tangent that’s not about this at all.

First of all, I mean Real Life Manly Tears.  Like when somebody awesome dies doing something awesome (Maes Hughes for example), and you find your eyes leaking a warm fluid.  This fluid is not tears, it is liquid honor.  There’s usually only one manly tear.

Now I know what you’re thinking “FaustianFool, I am a woman, can my female body produce these “Manly Tears”?”

WHY WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO I MEAN GODDAMN SERIOUSLY JESUS FUCK.

Oh wait.  I meant yes.  Sorry lol.  You see “Manly Tears”  are produced by the Honor Gland which produces “Honor Fluid”.  Manly Tears happen when the Honor Gland overproduces Honor Fluid and it leaks out your eyes.  This is Science Fact.  Women do scientifically have a smaller Honor Gland, however the cells in the gland produce an amount of Honor Fluid equal to their larger counterparts.